Damon’s Diminishing Dollars

January 20, 2010

Back in December, Brian Cashman and the New York Yankees offered Johnny Damon a healthy contract that would’ve paid him 14 million over two years.  Under the command of his villainous, egotistical agent Scott Boras, Johnny not only abruptly turned down the offer, but basically laughed at it.  Johnny and Scott (sounds like a gay couple) were under the impression that Damon was worth 13 million a year, and went on to proclaim that if the Yankees weren’t willing to match that number, they shouldn’t even bother making an offer.

Dear Johnny,


Being an avid Yankee fan, I’ve heard you speak many times, I’ve heard your moronic comments, and I’ve heard your pathetic attempts at putting full sentences together, so I know you aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but I never could have imagined you were this dumb!

Of the 30 teams in Major League Baseball, not one ever pondered giving you anywhere near 10 million a year, let alone 13 million.  Why? Its simple. You’re just not worth it.

EARTH TO JOHNNY!  You’re 36 years old and you have the throwing arm of a frail elderly woman with arthritis. 

Your stupid decisions to blow off Cashman’s generous offers have completely backfired on you, resulting in your career hanging on by a “thread”.  A “thread” that came in the form of the San Francisco Giants, a team who you and Boras obviously thought would be fooled by your fluke 24 home runs last season and desperate enough to give you a deal.  But the Giants had no interest in you, and the “thread” you were hanging on snapped Tuesday afternoon when San Francisco signed Bengie Molina to a one year deal, hence, exhausting their off-season treasury.


With basically a month before Spring Training begins, Johnny Damon finds himself looking like more of a fool than ever and his pride is undoubtedly injured no matter how this ends.    No one’s calling, most teams are done spending, and the options are slimming by the day. 

My prediction:   He’s going to end up crawling back to the Yankees, kissing Cashman’s feet and begging for forgiveness.  He’ll take the modest 1 year, 2 million dollar deal they offer, put his tail between his legs, and get out there and attempt to play ball. 

Retirement is a possibility, but although his pride is hurting, I doubt he can walk away from the game this early.  Either way, this isn’t the way Johnny saw the twilight of his career unfolding and one of the main factors is Scott Boras’ overconfidence.

Having said that, if Johnny had some brains and a bigger pair of “cojones”, he would have made his own decision, and im sure his decision would have been, accepting the Yankees 2 year, $14 million offer. 






One comment

  1. Johnny Damon, I have always enjoyed watching you play (since on the Yankees), but I think you are making a BIG mistake sticking with Scott Boras. He appears to be a money-hungry nincompoop. He almost lost Arod’s chances to be back in a Yankee uniform. Don’t let him go there with you. Get rid of him and go with the Yanks. You are wanted there, in spite of Boras’ moronic attitude.
    Let’s Go Yanks!!!

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